Parenting often feels like learning a new language, especially when your child communicates in ways that aren’t always obvious to others. One often overlooked part of this communication puzzle is ‘receptive language’: the ability to understand and process what others say. Differences in receptive language are common for children and adults with 22q11.2 deletion syndrome (22q), but they’re not always easy to spot.
These differences can be subtle. A person may nod, say “yes,” or give the impression that they’ve understood—even when they haven’t. Over time, this can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and a sense that something just isn’t clicking. But when we take the time to notice and respond with empathy, we create a bridge to real connection and learning.
What is Receptive Language?
Receptive language refers to the ability to ‘take in’, ‘make sense of’, and ‘respond appropriately’ to what is being said. It includes:
- Following directions
- Understanding questions
- Interpreting stories, conversations, or figurative language
- Picking up on implied meanings or social cues
Receptive language difficulties can be particularly impactful in children and adults with 22q. Many people with 22q have strong rote memory skills and may be able to recall or repeat information, even when they don’t fully understand it. They may appear to follow along, but they’re working hard to keep up and often feel confused or overwhelmed. They also often have slower processing speed, so they generally need longer to process new information.
Why Might Receptive Language Differences Go Unnoticed?
Receptive language challenges are often “invisible.” People with 22q may use masking behaviours—such as nodding, smiling, or agreeing—to avoid showing they’re unsure. Saying “yes” becomes a safety strategy. They might:
- Agree automatically to avoid embarrassment or conflict
- Copy others’ behaviour without fully grasping what’s expected
- Respond in vague or scripted ways
- Avoid asking for help for fear of seeming “different”
Because these behaviours can look like understanding, others may not realise when a person is struggling. This can lead to unintentional pressure or even discipline when the person doesn’t follow through on a task they never truly understood.
Receptive Language in 22q: Why It Matters
Children with 22q often experience communication differences, working memory challenges, and slower processing speeds, which can all affect how they absorb and respond to language.
This might show up as:
- Difficulty following multi-step directions
- Seeming inattentive or “off in their own world”
- Repeating words or phrases without context
- Struggling with instructions or fast-paced conversations
- High anxiety in group settings where communication is rapid or abstract
When a person feels constantly confused or misinterpreted, they may start to withdraw socially, avoid participation, or internalise the belief that they are “not smart” or “always wrong.” Understanding receptive language differences can help shift this narrative—and open the door to real growth.
How Parents Can Support Receptive Language at Home
Supporting receptive language doesn’t require specialist training—it’s about being attuned to your child’s needs and adjusting your communication to help them feel safe, understood, and capable.
Here are some parent-friendly strategies:
1. Model Slowing Down
Take a breath before speaking. Use a calm tone and speak slightly slower than usual, especially when giving instructions or introducing something new.
2. Check In, Not Test
Rather than asking, “Do you understand?” (which often leads to a polite but unsure “yes”), say:
“Let’s check together, what do you think we’re doing now?”
“Want me to show you again?”
3. Use Visuals and Routines
Visual aids such as calendars, daily routines, and checklists can help children process what to expect. Many children with 22q thrive on predictable structure and repetition.
4. Celebrate When They Ask for Help
Let your child know ‘it’s okay not to understand the first time‘. Praise their efforts to clarify:
“Thanks for telling me that wasn’t clear, let me say it a different way.”
5. Be a Safe Space for Uncertainty
Children who fear being “wrong” often avoid asking questions. Respond with curiosity, not correction. Phrases like, “That’s a great question” or “Let’s figure it out together” encourage open communication.
6. Use Play to Practise Understanding
Games that involve following simple instructions (e.g., obstacle courses, cooking, LEGO building) can build receptive skills in a fun, low-pressure way.
How Educators Can Support Receptive Language at School
In the classroom, receptive language differences in students with 22q may be mistaken for inattentiveness, lack of motivation, or behavioural challenges. But educators can create more inclusive and successful learning environments when they understand the hidden effort behind these behaviours.
Here’s how educators can help:
1. Chunk Instructions
Break down directions into smaller, manageable steps. Instead of “Open your book, turn to page 37, and answer questions 1 to 5,” say:
“Step 1: Open your book. Step 2: Go to page 37. Step 3: Do questions 1–5. Let me know if you want help.”
2. Use Multi-Modal Teaching
Combine spoken instructions with:
- Visual cues (e.g., icons, whiteboard steps)
- Written instructions
- Demonstrations
3. Provide Processing Time
Give students 5–10 seconds (or longer) to respond after asking a question. Let silence be a space for thinking, not pressure.
4. Create a Safe Communication Culture
Let the class know that asking for help is brave. Encourage phrases like:
“Can you explain that another way?”
“Can we go over that part again?”
5. Use Visual Schedules and Timers
Children with 22q often benefit from visual time indicators and predictable routines. Knowing what’s next reduces cognitive overload and builds confidence.
6. Avoid Singling Out
If a student seems confused or misses a step, quietly support them one-on-one. Public correction can lead to shame or shutdown. A discreet prompt like “Let’s do the first one together” goes a long way.
7. Collaborate with Families and Therapists
Open lines of communication with parents and allied health professionals help ensure consistency across settings. Parents often know their child’s best strategies—use that wisdom.
What About Adults? Recognising Receptive Language Differences Across the Lifespan
Receptive language differences don’t disappear with age; they often just become more subtle or internalised. For adults with 22q or other neurodevelopmental conditions, the challenges associated with understanding spoken language may persist, even if they’ve developed strong coping strategies.
Unfortunately, adults are often expected to “just get it,” and when they don’t, their difficulties can be misunderstood as carelessness, inattention, or even rudeness.
Signs of Receptive Language Difficulties in Adults
- Nods or agrees without fully understanding
- Delays in response
- Difficulty following verbal or multi-step instructions
- Confusion in group settings
- Reliance on routines or scripts
- Avoidance of unfamiliar environments or high-verbal-demand situations
How to Support Adults with Receptive Language Differences
1. Ask Clearly, Not Quickly
Use plain language and avoid rushing through instructions. Rephrase as needed.
2. Support Repetition and Clarification
Encourage questions. Say: “If anything I say doesn’t make sense, just ask, I don’t mind at all.”
3. Pair Spoken Words with Visuals
Provide written instructions, follow-up emails, or visual summaries.
4. Break Information into Steps
Give information in chunks, one part at a time.
5. Avoid Putting People on the Spot
Allow time to think before expecting a response.
6. Encourage Supported Decision-Making
Use visual aids, allow reflection time, and involve trusted support people.
7. Respect Communication Autonomy
Honour preferred communication styles (e.g., writing, AAC, text).
A Neuroaffirming Perspective
Receptive language differences are not a deficit of intelligence, they reflect a different processing style. Some adults with 22q have exceptional memory, creativity, or pattern recognition skills, yet still need accommodations to process complex verbal information. Supporting receptive language is not about “fixing” how someone listens. It’s about creating environments where understanding is mutual, accessible, and shame-free.
Final Thoughts
Whether you’re a parent, educator, or ally to someone with receptive language differences, the heart of support is the same: listen deeply, adjust your pace, and assume competence. When we stop measuring understanding by speed or surface responses, we open up space for genuine connection and communication that works for everyone.
Remember: communication is more than talking. It’s about connection. And connection begins when we honour how each person receives and understands the world in their way.
